My brother Dave told me once, “You know that horses eat in layers?” No, I did not. But I am here to tell you, so do pilots.
As we approach our 10th Anniversary of joining the General Aviation community on this coming Memorial Day weekend, we’ll be sitting on the flight deck of the Midway watching Top Gun to celebrate.
For now, I’m sitting on my commercial flight to SLC on a very budget airline that only offers water. What to my glee do I realize? I brought my own snacks! A handy bag of mini saltines—a snack that has been vetted and approved by the back seat feed bag in our Mooney.
The Feed Bag—it is quite the proving grounds.
Oh, what is “The Feed Bag” you ask? It is the affectionate name for whatever bag carries the snacks for in flight food service.
Is it messy? Scratch that.
Is it salty? Approved for departure.
Every existing item has a story. We started with Cheezits, in a tall Tupperware container with a red lid. They would get us easily through the first leg of our flight to Delta, Utah for refueling, with no need for the travel John. But they were greasy, and after a few years we upgraded to Wheat Thins. Fancy, right? Now the mini Saltines have been promoted in, and they’ve even earned a permanent spot in our pantry at home.
Costco Trail Mix was a standby for years, until that fateful day Richard shrieked, “There’s two servings per bag! Say what? NOOOO!” You must know that Richard (most of the time) counts his calories and learning that the amount in that little pouch was double what was on the label was a deal breaker. Now Built Puffs (not bars, folks—we have standards) quietly fill their spot in the feed bag. I do miss the days of handing Richard every M&M in the bag while I ate all the raisins.
We do include extra water bottles as well. Even the feed bag—a Simpson Chevrolet relic—got an upgrade for Oshkosh ’23. We are the proud owners of a Yeti Cooler Bag. An entire article could be written about Richard’s relentless pursuit of the perfect bag, backpack, video cord holder, and cooler, but I am getting off subject. Regardless, I still can hardly unzip the thing.
The contenders…
Quaker chocolate chewy bars
Applesauce packets
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Clif Bars
Protein Bars
PB&J
Campanelli’s Sandwiches
Almonds
Junior Mints
M&M’s
Gummi Bears
Popcorn, caramel corn?
Cake?
Cold pizza
Liquid IV
If we’re flying to Pagosa Springs, CO, the solid choice is the breakfast burrito at the Golden Ox. You won’t need to use the restroom until tomorrow.
P.S. I did fly the plane once on descent into Chandler, AZ, while the travel John was needed. You heard me—descent. Level? Maybe? But descent was a terror akin to childbirth. Keep the salty stocked and the travel Johns under the seat. We’re ready, folks. ✈️
